Musings on life, the universe and an elephant named Flobo


This week, tomorrow in fact, I begin my diet. I know I should call it a lifestyle choice or lifestyle plan but that seems like a bullshit term to me. Let me explain.

I have a serious, serious love affair with all things sugar. As the saying goes, little girls are made from sugar and spice and all things nice. I took that saying and ran with it. I would bathe in a bath full of melted chocolate yet I suspect I would find doing so to be incredibly uncomfortable. Not, because I would be worried about what anyone who happened to witness or hear of the event would think, no, merely because I would be too preoccupied trying to figure out exactly how to remove the chocolate from what I assume would be every nook and cranny and I wouldn’t be able to enjoy myself, suspended in the sugary goodness. Plus, I would want to eat it all and as everyone knows… it isn’t wise to eat the bath water.

I have lost weight a number of times throughout my adult life. Getting kicked out by my ex-husband and deciding as a result of that to stop taking the pill, saw 20kg melt off me in a matter of months. I know how to do it, it is the doing it that I struggle with. I call it a diet because on some days, especially when I am stressed, I would kill for a chocolate bar.

Before my recent transition into a new place of employment, after my exit from a toxic environment I had given everything to for four years, I had been working hard on getting into shape. I was going to the gym regularly, had signed up with a PT and was counting calories. Anything I could think of to keep the numbers on the scale declining back towards the weight I was post marriage.

In this time, I trained for and completed “Tough Mudder Half”, an achievement I am still proud of for 2 reasons. Firstly, I was able to complete the course (half course technically) without dying. It was touch and go during the second last obstacle. And secondly, because I managed to defy my usually accident prone nature and only landed on my arse once during the course. Considering it was a drop off a muddy hill, landing squarely on my backside on a muddy rock, is a bit I would rather forget. I know my rump certainly doesn’t want to remember that bruising.

I left my job with every intention of exercising regularly while I job hunted and convinced myself that was exactly what would happen. Oh, how I was wrong. Yes, I went for walks. I live on Moreton Bay, a picturesque place when the tide is in, and I helped two people move house. It isn’t like I did nothing. But it wasn’t enough. The weight I had worked so hard to lose slowly began to creep back on. When I started my new job and had the usual stresses of being in a new environment and all the training for the role, I was left too exhausted to think about my wellbeing.

I have now been in my new role for 3 months. It has been a lot to take in, and I am loving the challenge and the environment. It is also summer in Australia and the time where all of us Aussies, strip into our swimmers and head to the beach. So, with my partner, who has decided to join me on this particular endeavour, I will be focusing on my wellbeing and overall health. I know that the journey will not be easy. Will power is a fleeting thing. Luckily, this time I have a partner in crime. It is way easier to accept admonitions from someone when you are dying for a chocolate, when they feel your pain.

I am in a good head space at the moment, so I hope it arms me well for the challenges ahead. I need to promise myself not to let my emotions control my dietary intake. My metabolism has always travelled at a decent rate. Unfortunately, my pie arm is faster. I shall put down the pies, step away from the spuds and choose carrot over chocolate.

Wish me luck.

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