Musings on life, the universe and an elephant named Flobo


I am in the very early stages of my lifestyle change and so far I have managed to say no to chocolate and sweets a total of 17 times. I know this number is exact because it is torture for me every time I do not get to taste that food of the gods. At work, as I am sure happens in a lot of offices, chocolates are thrown around in meetings and training sessions to reward participation or correct answers. Work, feels like kindergarten some days. I just hope they bring in the mandatory nap times soon…

So far, the shakes I am using for meal replacement (dinners) have been palatable although I confess I have needed to add more than the  200 ml that is recommended. I do not like having to chew my shakes and although I have always preferred thickshakes to milkshakes, I have found that too thick, is actually an option. Surprisingly, the strawberry flavour seems to be the current winner in the flavour stakes.

I am proud to say that I have not yelled at anyone, pleaded for food while holding out my plate like Oliver Twist, “Please sir, may I have some more”, or held anyone at knifepoint for the sake of a chocolate. My resolve has been sorely tested when around nieces and nephews who must love their aunty so much that they offer her a share of the sweets, and on the train when people crack open hot food.

I have had one break from my food routine this week and that has been a farewell lunch for a work colleague who is moving to the other side of the country. I sat in a pub and managed not to order the chicken parmigiana, even after two different people told me it was the best thing on the menu. Oh, crumbed, cheesy torture.

My partner has embraced the lifestyle change and the next challenge is to figure out a useful way to spend our weekends which does not include sampling foods from different places we come across. If we go for drives in the country, we need to turn away from sampling the local produce.

In my head, I have noticed the increase in mind games and excessive thoughts geared towards tricking the system. With about 80 calories in a banana and 118 calories in a Curly Wurly, I try to figure out the exact portion size of a Curly Wurly I could eat to break even. For those not familiar with this tasty morsel, it is essentially a flattened squiggle of caramel covered in chocolate. It is heaven in an odd shape and something that I have been addicted to since childhood.

I have also started having a strong emotional bond to any fictional character going through diets woes on TV or in movies. My current favourite being Mark Addy in “The Full Monty” standing out in his garden shed, wrapping cling wrap around his belly while he chows down on a chocolate. Mate, I feel your pain.

I have also banned a number of movies from my viewing for the time being. These include:

  • Chocolat : Viviane (Juliet Binoche) setting up her chocalaterie and giving taste tests to all the villagers (since she has the gift for knowing everyone’s favourite chocolate). Plus Johnny Depp as a dreamy eyed gypsy. I shall pass.


  • Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, a movie that some may find slightly disturbing with the Oompa Loompas having songs figured out on the spot on the off-chance each child met, what I like to think is their demise, in that fashion and Gene Wilder goes from slightly excentric fellow to creep and straight to Captain Fantastic when he hands over the keys to the Chocolate factory. I could quite happily swim in the chocolate river and bathe beneath the chocolate waterfall. Although, I am a lazy swimmer so I wonder if it’s alright to use an Oompa Loompa as a flotation device…


  • Beauty and the Beast, with all the singing dishes. I don’t know why this movie makes me hungry but it does.


  • Hook : The food may be imaginary and I am not quite sure most of it is actually food but get in my belly!


  • The Breakfast Club, I love the lunch scene. From the discussions about sushi to the Pixie Stix’s sandwich (omg that chick is totally me). A funny, lighthearted movie which makes my stomach rumble.


  • Pulp Fiction is a movie I absolutely love and although my stomach turns at the thought of McDonalds, a “Royale with Cheese” still sounds tempting.


It is early days and although I don’t have much weight to lose, in the grand scheme of things, to be a healthier me, I do have to get better at making healthy food choices. One work week down, let’s see what the weekend brings.

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