Musings on life, the universe and an elephant named Flobo


A lot can be said for taking the ostrich approach and burying your head in the sand. Yes, I know that these birds don’t actually bury their heads, they are just turning eggs in the nest they have made in the ground however the saying is still apt.

Somethings in life are better off out of our minds. Personally, I do not like to see it splashed all across the news every time a terrorist attack is foiled. I congratulate those whose job it is to keep us safe and figure they are doing an excellent job as long as thoughts of danger and destruction do not cross my mind. With the rise in the advertisement of planned attacks and chatter, everyone grows nervous and suspicious. Perfectly harmless people get looked upon with increasing scrutiny and the world takes on a more negative atmosphere. I have been guilty of it these negative thoughts. Sitting in a small movie theatre, I became stressed out when a row of people got up, left bags and jackets and walked out of the cinema. It turned out that they were just taking a smoke break (don’t really know why they couldn’t wait for the movie to finish) and they came back in shortly after, however for those couple of minutes my heart was pounding loud in my ears.

Ignorance exists all around us. I know an aspiring lawyer who loudly bemoans dole bludgers and cheats, yet she herself rips of anyone that she can and I have heard her talk about ways to get around paying electricity bills by keeping bills in a made up name. That way, you can move out and not be tracked properly. Seems a horribly dishonest way to live for me yet her ignorance blinds her to the fact that she is no better than the others that she looks down on.

Another example of ignorance is bliss would be in my marriage. My previous marriage was certainly far from perfect. He was a manipulative control freak who had me twisted around his little finger for 9 years. I kept myself encased in a bubble of thought that he actually did love me, as a husband should love his wife and tried to keep my suspicions at bay. Of course, after the breakdown of the marriage when I finally left him, he still could not come clean about the numerous affairs he had engaged in and if it wasn’t for information obtained from my former in-laws, I may have continued to believe that I was just as paranoid as I was continually told.

Questions not asked can never really hurt us although they may haunt us.

At work, you may want to know everyone’s honest opinion of you, however does this information serve you in any way? Yes, if you are a hard worker and feel that others are getting promoted above you without merit than you may begin to suspect that your boss may hate you while smiling outwardly. If you don’t ask your parents who the favourite offspring is, although I am sure there aren’t any siblings in history without strong thoughts that they are well aware of who the favourite is, than does it actually matter if one sibling is valued more than the rest? Yes, it sucks to be at the bottom of the heap (but not as much as being told you are at the top of the pile yet treated like the bottom) but we do not need to let anyone elses perceptions control our lives.

At times, we all have coughs, or aches and pains that could be masking more serious health problems yet we tend to wait for as long as possible before going to the doctor for a check up. This may be due to the fact that waiting rooms are rather crowded or that some doctors have what seems like very little regard for patients and listening to symptoms however, as soon as a horrible diagnosis is given it cannot be taken back and it will change your life. I went to the doctors near the end of my marriage and was told that I would have trouble conceiving and if I did manage to, would struggle to carry a baby to term. It took me 3 weeks to tell my husband and although he brushed it off as not important, I have no doubt that the news was most likely the death-blow to my marriage. Since that time, my personal feeling have changed and I no longer actually want to have children. At the time, it was more of a selfish need for unconditional love that was driving the desire to reproduce and I had given little thought of the state of the world that my children would enter. I do however wish, that I had never received that news about my body. It makes it seem less like I made the conscious decision not to have children than the decision was never really mine to make.

Control and power struggles happen on even the most minute of scales all around us at every moment. Outside my window, I am certain that there are insects struggling for dominance in a certain section of my backyard and the birds in the trees are vying for the best branch position. Our place in the world is small. Some may even say insignificant, although if you are truly significant to just one other person or being,  I believe that your place in the universe is no less than any other. Politicians and others seek to control everyone’s lives and personally, what they do on a day-to-day level does not have a great effect on my life. Yes, I know that unfortunately some people literally have the power to end the lives of millions of people. I also know that nothing exists, no move on a chess board, that I could personally do to change anything.

I admit, I do not watch the news. Unless something really interesting is happening and it is impossible to escape from, I prefer to get my news online. Apart from skipping the ad breaks, I enjoy being able to skim over the stories I do not wish to read. Yes, some things may be important on a global scale yet, if it is important, I know I will end up hearing about it either way. I do not need to be spoon fed  information by the media to have a sense of right and wrong and to know the fundamental things that are wrong with this world of ours. I am sure if you asked a child of 5 what was wrong with the world, they would be able to sum it up quite succinctly. Do not underestimate your child. They are sponges who take in everything from the world around them.

This does not mean that people should not follow their convictions and beliefs. We are essentially, only the actions that we take and the memories that we make. I just do not believe that we should get too caught up in living everyone else’s lives. Yes, collectively we are the human race however, I do not want to be in competition with anyone. Let everyone live their own life and please, do not judge me while I bury my head.

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