It has been a big day for Australia with the announcement that the same-sex marriage (SSM) votes have been counted and the majority has voted YES. Given the emphasis on marriage and weddings, I thought I should share some of my experiences.
Some of you may know, that my fiance and I have been engaged for two years and together for coming up on 6. Not a bad innings for someone who had complete plans on remaining single and not tied down in any way… ah plans, how seldom they work out.
My fiance and I have had numerous discussions since he surprised me with the proposal (he was never into the idea of weddings so it took me by complete surprise and I thought he was joking to begin with) and over the weekend, we decided to start concreting our plans and start moving forward with the whole event.
Now, at present we have a couple of things on our plate that require some more immediate attention. We do have to move house in around 6 weeks time so the most pressing thoughts for the moment are finding a place to live, however, I will admit that I have unexpectedly been caught up in wedding fever.
I am not a bridezilla or a girly girl and I can honestly say that I have never been the type to laze around and day-dream about my perfect man and the perfect wedding and the whole “princess” experience. My man may not be perfect for some but I wouldn’t trade him for anyone else. And as far as the perfect day – I am still trying to figure out exactly what that would entail.
I have been one of the main planner for quite a few weddings for friends of mine over the years and I must say, it is bloody hard to plan your own wedding. Having to be the person to make all the decisions can be a drain. Friends had come to me over the years with themes or rough ideas for how they envisioned the special day and with that knowledge and what I knew about personalities, I was usually able to help them figure out something that would be special for them. The same cannot be said when trying to figure out what will be special for me.
I think one of the biggest pieces for me is that this will be my 2nd trip down the aisle. The first one (when I was 20) I had very little say in how any of that day unfolded and was pretty much told to sit in a corner and shut up while others planned my wedding and then forced to wear a hideous dress that made me look way larger than I was – because it was the dress my hubby-to-be liked. I was forced to have people at the wedding that I didn’t even want in my life and I was never able to enjoy the day. It was like the perfect portent to troubling times ahead.
This time, I want to do things my own way. My fiance and I have the budget we wish to stick to and want a relatively small event that suits us. I want to have sweet ceremony that suits us and the fact that neither of us really likes to be the centre of attention. I want to be able to say to the man who I love that I am his and that I want him to be mine and that whatever we face in our future we will get through together. And after that, I want to have a rather casual meal (thinking buffet) with the friends and family that mean the most to us and then carve up the dance floor and celebrate our life together.
I don’t want to feel obligated to invite every man and his dog. We both have rather large families and even with immediate family, there are individuals who don’t care about our nuptials and would just be taking up a seat that could be used by someone who cares about us and will enjoy our day with us. Some noses will no doubt get put out of joint – although how anyone can plan an event without pissing off at least one person I do not know.
At the end of the day, it is a day about my husband and I. Neither of us is more important that the other and I absolutely hate hearing brides who go on and on about “their day” as if they are the only person concerned. With my trusty Wedding planner all organised (I do love to make lists) it is time to get down to business and start slowly planning this thing out. After all – not much I can do to move house until I find the right listing. At least I know I’ve found the right man. ♥